Treading Water

Looking into his eyes that night was akin to staring at the ocean until someone told you yes, it eventually ends.  You want so much to deny common sense; nothing is here despite what is in your direct line of vision.  Love with Mr. Right Now had looked so beautiful once upon a time.  There was the peaceful reassurance that someone could anchor you, steady you in the turbulence life sometimes is.  The tide goes out every morning and someone holds you at night.

My little boat gets tossed in rough waters, but I have got someone who seemingly secured my dreams firmly to the underbelly of my craft.  I might not be invincible, but I am seaworthy, albeit reckless.  Is this what we are supposed to become within the waves of desire?  I am headstrong against the elements simply because someone with beautiful eyes makes me feel as though I matter.   

            If only it were all smooth sailing peppered with favorable trade winds of passion.  Too many broken promises on red sky mornings provided me with enough unheeded reasons to take warning.  Like any worse for wear captain, I can tell you the moment I should have turned back.  Yet, I sailed on, letting my ship get destroyed by a hurricane I knew was just beyond the horizon.  Of course, it would be easy to plant my feet at a safe port.   Never venturing back to rough waters would preserve my fragile heart. 

            I am, however, restless and the ocean calls my name.  Come find worlds beyond here, live not a life of solitude on barren land when you are meant to sail.  So I look out to the horizon once again, knowing he does not hold the keys to any of me.  Sailing away, like all good things, is a risk, but I am ready for new adventures and look for red sky nights.